corporate folk

in large companies you'll always have at least the following 3 people on your payroll. this could be wacky coincidence, but im starting to think that governing bodies require companies hire a specific percentage as part of equal opportunity

knee jerk

responsible for decisions that are as quick (and dangerous) as lightning, knee jerk is typically a middle manager who appears to have miraculously defied the laws of natural selection. kj believes in exercising his keen instinct rather then asking informed questions and prefers wide-scale decrees based on the lowest common denominator. There may be a .000032% chance that your peer could bring a weapon to work, but thanks to daily cavity searches and quick thinking by kj, you're safe.

the bullet dodger

the bullet dodger is renown throughout the land for their inability to be fired, despite averaging 3 days at work last year and being involved in a scandal that rivaled watergate. to peers and subordinates, bd is as trustworthy as a Nigerian banking email but thanks to over-zealous workplace laws escapes prosecution time and time again.

deathbed

able to diagnose any illness by recalling when they had it last, deathbed will experience more cases of flu this year then a major hospital and will cite a good day's rest as the reason why they are out drinking that night. deathbed is kind enough to provide a courtesy cough when calling up sick and when returning to work for the first 20 minutes or so. thanks to quality medical professionals who worry about loosing an easy patient, deathbed will always have a valid medical certificate and may go as far as having a supply of flu tablets clearly visible on their desk for extra authenticity.

theres a lot more then this im sure, but white chocolate rocky road calleth.

/fin